Everything I've learned is a lie

By Luara Luettger
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Lies My Teacher Told Me, by James Loewen. This novel tackles the more serious issues America faced in its history, but when I think of the horrendous lies my teachers told me, I think of the Founding Fathers and folklore.
I realize the lies I’m about to share with you aren’t quite on the same level as those in the book by Loewen, but they’re still the lies I believed all these years, until I got smart and went to college.

When I think about everything I learned about in history classes from elementary school, everything has this sparkly glaze over it, like everything that happened in the past is so important it deserves its own background music.

So, I’d like to present the list of these lies and explain why I think they’re wrong.

Lie No. 1: George Washington and Thomas Jefferson are the most important of the Founding Fathers.
My Take: James Madison is the best Founding Father of all. While Washington was our first president, he only took the position because no one else originally wanted it. Also, Jefferson may have written the Declaration of Independence, but the Constitution, penned by Madison, has the same if not more importance. Add to that the Bill of Rights, again penned by Madison, and you’ve got the guy who established the country.

Also, of all the Founding Fathers, Madison is definitely the most attractive. I’m not saying this based on looks, but he had ambition, brains and I’m sure he was funny. That’s just my little sidenote though.

Lie No. 2: Abraham Lincoln was the most honest man in America.

My Take: Lincoln was actually just a really good politician. He freed the slaves for his own (the North’s) economical purposes, and some of the tactics employed during the Civil War by generals and colonels were ruthless. This doesn’t mean I still don’t like Lincoln though. I just recognize he’s human.

Lie No. 3: Davy Crockett was a scary mountain man.

My Take: There were so many hairy, scary mountain men that I may have gotten him confused with Daniel Boone when I was little, but regardless, Crockett was not one. He actually served in the House of Representatives and aided during the Texas Revolution.

Crockett was kind of scary though, as movies made of him show. I’m still not sure what I should believe even with the research I’ve done on him. He might be part mountain man, part refined gentleman.

Lie No. 4: Johnny Appleseed didn’t exist.

My Take: Finding out that Johnny Appleseed, or John Chapman, really existed was one of the best moments of my life. Although Chapman was much dirtier than Appleseed, he actually lived and from all we know, was a caring, apple-tree-spreading, wonderful human being.

I’ve heard some versions where Appleseed actually ran through swamps to alert towns of approaching enemy troops. It’s also rumored he wore a pot on his head while he planted apple trees wherever he went.

Whichever story is true, I haven’t heard many bad things about Appleseed, so I stand behind the thought that he’s a great guy. He must have been if he gave everyone apples.

So, that’s my list of lies my teachers told me, and ones that I probably got confused in my head. Hopefully my explanations have helped straighten out these lies our teachers told us, although I might have embellished some of these explanations, too. Don’t blame me though, because I learned it from my teachers first. More specifically, blame my dad. After all, he was my teacher.

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