‘Tis the season to bring us presents

The Stylus staff seeks gifts

Some newspapers would use their last issue before the holidays to condemn the masses for their rampant consumerism during the holiday season. However, we’ve decided to take advantage of this merry materialism.  After all, there’s nothing wrong with spreading holiday cheer, even if you do have to take out another student loan to do it.

So, here is The Stylus wish list — all the things we’d like for our office so we can continue to bring you the paper each week. 

• To bring you The Stylus each Wednesday, we spend most of Monday night  trapped down in the basement of the Union. Most Mondays we stay up until 3 a.m. or later to make sure the paper is as close to perfect as possible for you — our readers. In light of this, we’d really like it if the elves at Red Bull dropped off an entire case of the energy drinks for us.

• Nothing says “Christmas Cheer” like red ballpoint pens. Not only are they a festive color, but they help our editors point out spelling and grammar mistakes in the articles we receive.

• A puppy. We’d name him “Stylus” and use him to help us bring you copies of the paper every Wednesday morning. He can help Tom Lunt, our distribution manager.

• Speaking of pets, we’ve been giving that albino squirrel good press for the entire semester. He’d make a great pet, but if you do happen to capture him, make sure you wrap him carefully. It wouldn’t be a very merry Christmas if we got a box with a dead squirrel under the tree.

• ATTENTION TEACHERS OF STYLUS MEMBERS:  You may wonder why we show up to your Tuesday morning classes half asleep. Chances are, we’ve only gotten a few hours of sleep after production on the paper the night before. In light of this, we ask that you be kind when you turn in our final grades.

• More heat in our office. When you’re lighting those candles on the menorah, feel free to stop by and show it off. Maybe it’ll help warm us up!

• More writers, please.  We’re always looking for more reporters, columnists and photographers.  If you’re interested, send us an e-mail at stylus@brockport.edu.

• ATTENTION BSG: Would holiday bonuses happen to be in your budget by any chance? (Probably not. See News, page 1 for story.)

• We just revamped our Web site: www.thestylus.net. We’d love for our readers to check it out.  Think of it as our gift to you.

Feel free to drop off any of these gifts in our office in the basement of the Union. Or, if you prefer, e-mail us some Hanukkah, Christmas or Kwanzaa greetings at stylus@brockport.edu.

We wish everyone good grades on upcoming finals and safe travels over the break. We’ll be back in January to bring you more issues of The Stylus.  Until then, happy holidays!