It’s finals time in Brockport

Our report card for the campus

It’s the last week of classes, which means professors will soon be turning in final grades. Sure, students have the opportunity to fill out evaluations of the faculty during individual classes — but we think it’s time the college had a full blown report card, just like we do. While they do have a week or two to make changes, here are our findings (think of it like midterm grades — they may not mean much but Mom and Dad sure care):

Construction: I (Incomplete). This category sadly impacts the overall scores of Facilities and Planning, Residential Life
… just about any organization on campus that’s in a construction zone, which seems to be just about everything on campus these days! A construction-covered campus can never earn high marks — and we don’t care. We just want them to complete their grade.

BASC: A-. The breakfast at dinner leaves some of us hungry … but Karen can ease any pain with her friendly “How you doin’, buddy?” greeting. We fully support changing the title of “guest pass” to the “buddy pass.” Karen deserves a legacy. The “golden delicious corn” lady rocks too. And we would love more theme dinners  — yum!

Apogee: F. It has been nicknamed “crapogee” for a reason. We respect that they are concerned enough to ask for feedback, but extra tutoring isn’t going to cut it. Wireless doesn’t exist and most of us have to restart our computers every time we want to access a non-Brockport Web page.

Sports: A. They move to the head of the class with a women’s soccer SUNYAC title. They also earned extra credit when the men’s basketball team made it to the Elite 8 and many athletes produced record-breaking performances.

Theatre Department: D. This grade isn’t indicating the skill level for performance. Let’s just say that while the department is excellent at test taking, they don’t play so well with others. We wish they’d let us take pictures during performances – that way they could get the attention they deserve and we could get the pictures we desire. Compromise? Announce that a photographer will briefly be taking pictures for the newspaper but that doesn’t mean flash photography is allowed in general.

BSG: C-. They put on successful programs even after last minute cancellations that were beyond their control. But the diversity they promised (country concert or a comedian for Brock the Port, anyone?) failed to materialize. BSG as a whole is on the right track, but some staff members deserve detention for their general bad attitude and lack of professionalism, including yelling at and hanging up on Stylus staff.

Rec Services: C. Intramurals are extremely successful but the program needs to learn how to share  — they favor those who are right handed. Left-handed equipment is needed.

Parking Services: B. We were pleasantly surprised at the success of the snow removal program — we admit we were skeptical. But we do think the Parking Ninja (look up the Parking Services promotional video) leaves a few too many parking tickets.

Albino Squirrel: A. Sure he doesn’t have perfect attendance, but we think the school’s policies are too strict on that anyway. We like his elusive nature. And when he is present, he’s always friendly. One of our staffers even saw him running around with an apple in his mouth last week. He remains the cutest kiss-up we’ve ever seen.